Grief

You're funny, Grief,
But I'm not laughing.

Some days - not many -
But some,
You are there, but gentle:

Bringing memories of happy times
Bittersweet,
Days when we smiled and laughed,
Days when we quarreled and made up,
Days when life was just
Life.

Wine on the deck

Ducks in the yard

Watching t.v.

Just Life

Some days,

Most days,

You're like the Class IV Rapids

On Jim's beloved Deschutes:

"Long rapids with powerful, irregular waves,

dangerous rocks, 

boiling eddies, 

precise maneuvering 

and scouting from the shore is imperative, 

take all possible safety precautions."

Some days,

Today, for example,

Days yet to come

Days already blotted from my memory

You are a beast,

Waiting till my head is turned,

Till my mind is occupied with endless tasks,

Reaching into my chest, grabbing my heart,

Shredding me.

Until all I can do

Is fall to the ground and cry.